Lady In Waiting

I'm back (maybe)

2009-12-05T02:03:00.002+08:00

An old friend made a comment on an old post today, which resulted in an email that reminded me that I had a blog. I blame Facebook for the memory loss. :P

****

My last post, which was more than a year ago, was "Oh my God, please, NO!" which was my reaction to rumours that the traitor in Malacanang had plans on extending her stay, which has been way too long for comfort as it is. I might as well have called this post, "Oh my God, WHY?!?"

Yes, even I in faraway Olomouc have heard the news about her candidacy for Congress. What is going to happen after that, no one knows, but many are afraid. And with good reason. Maguindanao massacre anyone?

Shameless. Brazen. Revolting. Vile. Evil.

****

I can't write a longer post, despite the long absence. I am in the middle of writing my masters thesis -- which is squeezing the life out of me. Hopefully I meet the deadline (thankfully extended until end of the month) so that I can go back to doing fun and inane stuff (like blogging, yes!), before I have to go back to real life and its problems -- like finding a job in this time of crisis. Anyone out there who knows of someone looking to hire a Master in Euroculture (whatever that is), please, please, point him/her in my direction. Thank you.

Oh my God, please, NO!

2008-11-19T02:12:00.003+08:00

"Bless the President so we will have forbearance, good health, the tolerance to lead this nation up to 2010 and perhaps who knows even beyond."

-- Press Secretary Jesus Dureza,

at the end of the opening prayer he led

at the start of a Cabinet meeting

in the Aguinaldo State Dining Room.

President Arroyo's reaction:

Arroyo, looking embarrassed, covered her face and said: "Oh my God."

http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/breakingnews/nation/view/20081118-172871/Arroyo-to-2010-prayer-Oh-my-God

Crossroads

2008-10-20T13:57:00.003+08:00

I don't know what I want.

Or maybe, I know what I want. But am just too afraid to go for it.

And therein lies my problem.

A Rude Awakening

2008-10-14T16:25:00.002+08:00

Literally.

The sound of a key trying to open my locked door followed by loud knocking woke me up from an already unhappy dream to a worse one.

I now have a roommate. Ugh. I really should have expected that, and not raised my hopes up for some sort of miracle that would allow me to remain alone in this double room (albeit in name only for it really is just a single room with two beds) that they assigned me.

I'm pretty sure my new roommie is a nice girl. But this has nothing to do with her. I like having my room to myself. It's a place I retreat to when I need peace and quiet. I like having my own organized mess, I like singing out loud in my undies as I get ready for class, I like having friends over whenever I want, I like having a place for my drama moments.

And now my happy days over.

Unless I get lucky and she decides she can't live in this tiny space with me either. Or if I'm extremely lucky and there is still a single room available in this dorm.

Wish me luck.

Because my sanity hangs in the balance.

Vanity Fair

2008-10-04T00:53:00.003+08:00

Our only formal pics. From Janice and RJ's wedding.

Jay and I love these photos. I don't know how they turned out nice, because we were laughing too much while we were trying to pose as the guy directed.

Haaay. I miss you honey.

Girl in Olomouc

2008-09-26T16:53:00.000+08:00

A little girl
Thought she was all grown up
She decided to leave home and all she loved
And try it out on her own

The little girl took a bus, a train, a plane
To go as far away as she could
And with little thought and even less care
She built herself a place to stay.

A little girl sits alone
In the little house she’s made
She wonders finally to herself
What it means to be all grown up

The little girl is cold and lonely
The place she found has beauty but no warmth
And in that solitary moment
She finds that she is lost

A little girl
In a little house away from home
Cries her eyes and all her heart out
And starts to grow up

26 September 2008
7.40 a.m. Olomouc

Blessed

2008-09-26T14:13:00.002+08:00

Last night, I cried myself to sleep. Out of fear, frustration and loneliness. So many doubts. So many uncertainties. And even when I finally succumbed to exhaustion, my dreams were nightmares one after another.

What I did not know was that the universe looked kindly on me and had pity. Today I woke up to the most beautiful sunrise. The one thing I have been wanting to see since I got to this strange country, a place quite beautiful but veiled in grey.

Not for the first time, I wonder why I am so blessed. I am weak. And doubtful. And afraid. But I know I am blessed.

It would do me well to remember that.

Truth

2008-09-21T16:58:00.002+08:00

"Sometimes, someone can mean so much to you that even the truth can't change your mind..."

Saw this on the blog of my friend's sister.

It doesn't sound so smart for some people. But it is too much true.

Conversations

2008-08-28T14:14:00.001+08:00

Bea says:
i hope ur working on my letter

jay says:
i am working on the letter

Bea says:
send me na the first part

jay says:
how long does it have to be?

Bea says:
very long

jay says:
ayy ayy

jay says:
you want the first part?

Bea says:
ok write me 10 short letters

jay says:
i couldnt make the entrance part yet

Bea says:
honey

Bea says:
this only means you havent even started!

Bea says:
you said you have a draft na!

jay says:
i have

Bea says:
show me show me

Bea says:
honey write me one short letter now

Bea says:
:)

jay says:
I love you so dearly, honey. Do you know? You are the best thing that ever happened to me. You are like the best poetry ever composed, the best song ever played, the best picture ever painted. I never thought and expected that someone like me could get so lucky by finding you.

jay just sent you a nudge.

Bea says:
dear honey, i know that you love me. and everyday i am thankful to be so lucky to be so loved. you make me laugh, you make me cry. you've made me feel. you've taught me true love. you've made my life topsy turvy, complicated, exciting, and definitely worth living.

jay says:
--heart--

Bea says:
honey

Bea says:
i want handwritten letters

jay says:
ok

Bea says:
:)

The Story of a Sign

2008-08-28T12:50:00.002+08:00

Jay sent me this short film.

Watch it. Six minutes of your time.

http://www.adnstream.tv/video/nilSqaMboM/HISTORIA-DE-UN-LETRERO-THE-STORY-OF-A-SIGN

Simple. But poignant.

No to Charter Change -- not now, anyway

2008-08-14T10:25:00.000+08:00

“Why should we amend the Constitution to conform to the MOA? All laws and official transactions should conform to the Constitution.”

-- Rep. Pablo Garcia of Cebu

The Love Compatibility Quiz

2008-08-07T16:38:00.003+08:00

Romance Style

Both You and Jay are Traditionals

Red roses, chocolate truffles and champagne say it all for you. Whether you're playing Prince Charming or looking for him, you want things to be right out of a fairy tale. Traditional females have a harder time in love than their male counterparts; if they're not paired with someone who can show them affection, they may retreat into a world of romance novels and Nora Ephron movies, while Traditional males are generally snatched up like hotcakes!

Your Romantic Compatibility:

Traditional/Traditional: You'll both agree on engraved invitations to a white wedding, we're sure, and live happily ever after.

Sexual Style

Both You and Jay are Spicy

You like it hot! You have a healthy sexual appetite, and your sense of playfulness and adventure really excites your mate. Although you don't blindly (or unsafely) say yes to any sexual escapade, your list of "nevers" is not that long.

Your Sexual Compatibility:

Spicy/Spicy: Ooh-la-la! You two are a great match. You both enjoy sex and are willing to experiment.

Communication Style

Both You and Jay are Compromisers

You don't like friction, and because of your desire for smooth sailing, you welcome your partner's suggestions and point of view. You choose your battles wisely, but you don't always get to the heart of the matter, preferring instead to keep the peace.

Your Communication Compatibility:

Compromiser/Compromiser: How could this not work? Both of you are willing to compromise and talk things out. Both of you dislike arguing and friction, and you both work toward keeping the peace. Nice going!

Astrological Assessment

You are a Taurus

In love relationships, Taurus is devoted, romantic and sometimes jealous. The great strength of the Taurus-born is their stability and perseverance. Taurus is among the most dependable characters of the zodiac.

Jay is a Libra

In love relationships, Libra is playful and romantic. The great strength of the Libra-born is their drive for peace and harmony. Their skill at seeing all sides of a situation makes Libra one of the most fair-minded characters of the zodiac.

Astrological Compatibility:

When Taurus and Libra come together, it can be the unification of two halves of a whole. Both signs are looking for security in a partnership, and they share a refinement and love of art, poetry and culture. They can work together harmoniously, because both of them are trying to achieve the same thing. The relationship may start slowly, and on the surface they might have few common interests, but once they understand each other there is a lot of mutual respect and a realization that there is more in common than they may have first believed. The best aspect of the Taurus-Libra relationship is their mutual appreciation of beauty and culture. Aesthetics are important to both partners, and they share a love of the finer things in life. Their similar tastes and loves makes theirs a relationship of great romance and harmony.

****

Hahaha. I don't know how I got Jay to take this quiz along with me. Who knew we'd turn out to be perfectly compatible? :D

Janice and RJ: This is how it should be

2008-08-06T09:44:00.004+08:00

Finally. Got my charger back and downloaded the photos from Janice and RJ's wedding. Yey! So now I can write about it, hehe :)

****

We had so much fun at Janice and RJ's wedding. Good old friends, out of town, all dressed up, great food, lots of love -- just so much fun! But never had I cried so much before. My dear friend Janice all grown up and getting married! Wait, that's a good thing. Why was I crying?

Tears of joy? Pride? Oh yes. Weird thing was I felt like a mother seeing her daughter walk down the aisle. I guess in friendship we do tend to "mother" each other once in awhile.

Happy tears? Most definitely. That wedding was a true celebration of love, cheesy as that sounds, I'm saying it. They are good for each other, plain and simple. And I know they will be happy together.

RJ is the sweetest, most devoted man. Damn those vows were good. All guys should take a page from his book! :) And come to think of it, I shouldn't have been surprised at how Janice was. Quite emotional and definitely the radiant bride. Really beautiful.

****

We saw them through from their first meeting to this. But this is just another beginning. I'm sure the best is yet to come. Kids come next Janice! Hahaha.

Damn. I will definitely miss this couple when they move to Japan. Janice, we have to visit each other!

****

Jay and I brought Hatice along and it was such a good idea. Hatice and Naya were BFFs for the weekend, complete with fights! Haha. They were so cute together, even though they just met for the first time! It's really so much easier to make friends when you're young, and clueless.

We also visited some of her relatives who were genuinely happy to see her, as they last saw Hatice when she was still a baby. It was nice to see her with family. "Plenty lolas," as she put it. She needs much love to make up for such a big loss. Although with Jay (and, I would dearly like to think, myself), she shouldn't be needing too much more. :)

****

Other friends are getting married this year. Sadly though, I'll be missing their weddings: Parej and Pam, Tanya and Albert. Oh well. Congratulations and best wishes to you all. Please just send me some photos...

****

See more photos of the wedding at my multiply photos.

Mamma Mia!

2008-07-14T12:35:00.002+08:00

I watched Mamma Mia last Saturday. My, my, what terrible fun. Not one for musicals, even Jay enjoyed the movie.

It was a bit weird to see Pierce Brosnan sing though. James Bond, haha. And Colin Firth, hahahaha. I don't want to put spoilers here. But it should suffice to say that the men in the movie are enough reason to watch it. :)

And then there's Meryl Streep, goddess. Goodness, I love her! I didn't even know that she could sing. Some parts of the movie I found her acting a bit disconcerting (age-inappropriate, I thought), but when she did that song Winner Takes It All, I was blown away. Blown away. Damn.

... I don't want to talk...

Watch it, watch it, watch it.

****

I can't wait for Batman to open this Thursday!!!

Light & Shade

2008-07-04T09:40:00.002+08:00

I had dinner with a friend the other day. (A 48-year old friend, who I never imagined to be a day older than 40. But that's another story.) He's also friends with my sisters, and sees them every so often too.

Anyway, I realized something after talking to him.

During dinner, he inadvertently told me what my siblings really think about Jay and me. Why they don't like the idea of us together. They think that I'm too much in love with him. And they're not used to seeing me that way, as they think I'm some sort of ice queen.

Ice queen I am not. I just don't like showing affection. Normally.

But what's wrong with being head over heels in love anyway? Who would want to be in a relationship with someone they were only semi in love with? That doesn't sound fun to me at all. It's no way to be with anyone. Call me naive. Call me foolish. But I'm not loving my guy any other way.

Fra Lippo Lippi sang to me this morning: Be weak, if you want to love.

Yesterday

2008-07-02T09:40:00.004+08:00

Yesterday.

Karen told me I am starting to have separation anxiety. Jeez, I haven't even left yet. But she said it's normal. Thank goodness. Sometimes I think I'm going crazy.

Jay told me something he read somewhere: she could not remain the person you love if she gave up her dreams for you, so be happy she is living them out.

Hmm.

****

Yesterday.

I had nothing better to do so I decided to take a new route going home. I took a jeepney at Shaw Boulevard. When I think of jeepneys, I think of UP. UP toki and UP ikot. Hahaha. So there I was, reminiscing on the fun times I had going from Ateneo to UP, when I saw KFC, which was my cue to "pull string to stop".

I was happily getting off when my nostalgic mood was abruptly cut. I was barely off the jeepney when the driver started moving again. I whirled around and cried: Oh my god, what the f**k?!? Twenty faces stared back at me in silence.

Lessons learned? One. Don't take the jeepney. The drivers are rude. Two. Don't cry out loud to God and curse all in one sentence. People think you're rude.

****

Yesterday.

All my troubles looked like they were here to stay. Today they seem so far away.

Just had to post this

2008-06-30T10:11:00.004+08:00

Euro 2008 - Turkey leave with heads held high
Eurosport - Thu, 26 Jun 10:31:00 2008

Turkey won many fans at Euro 2008 and showed they can become a major force in world football thanks to their determination, skill and grace.

Coach Fatih Terim, who said he would probably quit following Wednesday's agonising 3-2 defeat by Germany in the semi-final, deserves huge credit for the way he has handled himself.

Injuries and suspension tore the heart out of his team with goalkeeper Volkan Demirel banned for Wednesday and striker Nihat Kahveci ruled out alongside midfielder Emre Belozoglu.

Three more suspensions and a host of other injuries made Terim's starting line-up almost pick itself yet the Turks still dominated the Germans for half the game and can count themselves unlucky to lose to a last-minute winner by Philipp Lahm.

There were no sour grapes from Terim, though. "We are leaving as one of the most colourful teams here. We were almost there but this is football. We respect our opponents. I am very, very proud of my team," he said.

Creative midfielder Hamit Altintop plays for Bayern Munich and was well known to the Germans but they still struggled to stop him controlling the game with his neat passing.

Winger Kazim Kazim, who hit the bar twice, enhanced his reputation with a mature performance while Ugur Boral, who scored their first on Wednesday, was a real handful on the left.

The fact they scored the opening goal in a match at the tournament for the first time on Wednesday shows how hard they worked to reach their maiden European Championship semi-final.

Throughout the tournament they have fought until the very end for their fanatical fans and their reward will be a heroes' welcome when they return, just like when they reached the last four at the 2002 World Cup. Their success really is no fluke.

Few teams across all previous championships have been able to conjure up late goals like the Turks did here.

A last-gasp Arda Turan strike gave them a 2-1 win over Switzerland in their second group game having been 1-0 down at halftime and facing elimination.

They gave themselves an even bigger mountain to climb in the last group game with the Czechs when they conceded twice only to storm back with three goals in the last 15 minutes.

A strike in the 122nd minute from lively forward Semih Senturk brought them level against Croatia in the quarter-final before they triumphed on penalties.

Having taken the lead against Germany in the first half, they found themselves losing 2-1 after keeper Rustu Recber's error let Miroslav Klose head into an empty net on 79 minutes.

Still Turkey battled back with Semih again the scorer four minutes from time before Lahm broke their hearts, but not their will and incredible humility.

"Unfortunately we have a problem of conceding easy goals. If we'd gone on to extra time the score could have been different perhaps. But at this point in time we must congratulate the winner," Terim added.

****

Congratulations to Spain for winning the Euro Cup! (Sorry Enrico, but with the way Germany played last night, any team would have beaten them... I'm sure Turkey would have, hehe.)

The Beautiful Game

2008-06-23T09:56:00.007+08:00

(This is a bit late, but I just have to write about it.)

Friday night we watched the game Turkey vs Croatia. What a game! The Turks are now officially the comeback kings of Euro 2008. :)

The game went into extra time 0-0, and it seemed to be remaining that way towards the end. I was looking forward to the penalty shoot out when tragedy struck. Croatia scored with a minute left! My heart dropped. I couldn't believe my eyes. I wanted to go home.

I stopped watching the game to send a mournful message to my friend when out of the corner of my eye I saw Rustu kick the ball right down to the Croatian box right in front of Semih Senturk who quickly sent it sailing into the net. I couldn't believe my eyes all the more. Did they just do it again?!?

A bit teary-eyed with relief and disbelief, I hugged Jay with glee, and I swear I saw a bit of a glint in his eye as well. Hahaha.

Again it was just the three of us in the quiet sports bar. But before I knew it Sarah was calling from Singapore where she and a bigger bunch of Turks were also watching the game, and we all got to screaming about how unbelievably wonderful it was.

Unbelievable. Wonderful. Beautiful.

The Turks went on to win the penalty shoot out, with the Croatians so obviously demoralized. I forgave Rustu for allowing that first goal to happen. I loved him again. Along with Altintop, Arda and Senturk who made the goals. And Hakan who is just so cute. All of them.

It was 5.30 in the morning, soft rain was falling.

We walked home happy.

Dress Up

2008-06-20T11:18:00.005+08:00

Karen asked me if I could help her find a nice dress for Janice's wedding. While I may have helped her a bit, I ended up checking out dresses that I would love to have for myself! Hehe.

If only I had such killer legs!

Sweet. Love the color too!

Busy Bee

2008-06-17T13:48:00.008+08:00

I had a long weekend. And what a weekend it was.

On Friday night we went to the Romanian Ambassador's residence to watch Romania draw with world champion Italy while sipping wine from Transylvania. They darn missed a penalty kick and now have to win against Netherlands to get into the quarterfinals of the Euro Cup.

On Saturday we threw a bridal shower for Janice at the Diamond Hotel. We girls had a jolly good time except for the bright-idea-turned-horrible-joke of an "entertainment" segment. Hahaha. Never again! Good thing there were other more important things like the sweet video message from the groom to the bride all the way from Japan, the fun, funny games and competitive participants, the unidentifiable "celebrity" phone patch from Singapore, the delectable, simply yummy desserts, juicy secrets bared, and the list goes on. 'Twas a good night. *Sigh* Hanging out with good old gal pals is always a heart warmer and spirit booster. I need more of this!

Sunday was Fathers Day. We spent the afternoon in the mall with Hatice. Watching Jay with her makes me happy. Although his first Fathers Day must have been dampened by the sad news of his grandfather's death the day before, I'm sure he over the moon now that he has her already.

That night, we watched Turkey come from behind to beat Czech Republic 3-2 to get into the quarterfinals. It was one amazing game that got Sarah calling me from Singpore just to scream together about it. I am ashamed to admit that I lost all hope when Czech Republic made that second goal with Turkey still with nil. Now I know that this game is really all about heart. And that's what they had that night. Go Turkey!

Monday was Hatice's first day of school. Once again she surprised me. She is one brave little girl. She didn't cry at all. Just like she didn't cry when her grandma left her in her daddy's care. She has a funny way of accepting things stoically. Some things. Things that she somehow understands she cannot change. Other than that, she's your normal 3-year old crybaby. But a very pretty one. Oh well. I hope she learns English soon! She's a sweet little kid, but it's quite difficult communicating with her. Hopefully school will change this.

To wind that busy weekend (extended til Monday), we watched the Incredible Hulk. Jay didn't like it that much but I enjoyed the movie. Maybe because I like Edward Norton. Or maybe I was just glad to have some alone time with Jay.

****

Isn't it strange that you can be with some people and still miss them? And yet be far from someone and feel so close to them?

What a girl wants

2008-05-21T13:40:00.000+08:00

Stole this from Rica :P

"What I want is to be needed.
What I need is to be indispensable to somebody.
Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention.
Somebody addicted to me.
A mutual addiction."

-- Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

Life begins at 26

2008-05-19T13:15:00.008+08:00

I rang in my 26th year with family and dear friends at a birthday party thrown for me by Jay at his place.

Simple and steady. Good food, a labor of love by "Chef" Jay. My favorite Asti Martini, courtesy of Fif. And great company, thanks to everyone who came.

I know I am loved by the people I love. For this, I am grateful.

Birthday kiss from my favorite chef.

Good friends, old and new, all dear.

Laughing Alfonso, little darling of my heart!

To add to this wonderful celebration, like ice cream with a cherry on top, I got the best birthday gift ever!

Woohoo!

So many things to be thankful for. Life is just some kind of wonderful. :)

Runaway

2008-05-13T15:05:00.001+08:00

I'd like to run away
From you
But if you didn't come
and find me...
I would die

-- Shirley Bassey

Harana

2008-05-02T10:44:00.005+08:00

On the way to office this morning, I snapped out of my reverie when the radio started playing Buhat.

Imagine that. Buhat! My goodness, I had not heard that song in so long. Not since my Harana days, hahaha. And I didn’t really think that it would ever be played on the airwaves, not on the FM stations anyway.. :P

BUHAT

Bawat buhay ay may kasaysayan
Tulad ng pinangyarihan
Nang tayo'y magtanaw
Takot lamang ay di mo pakinggan
Ngunit ang katotohanan
Kita'y minamahal

Buhat ng kita'y masilayan
Buhat ng mapanagimpan
Laging hinahanap at inaasam
Bilin ay damhin yaring pagmamahal

At magbuhat ng makita ka lamang
Bawat masdan ko'y kariktan
Dulot ay sadyang kaligayahan
Na nagbuhat sa iyo buhay n'yaring buhay

It’s such a lovely song. Sometimes I forget how many beautiful Tagalog love songs we have.

Dum-dee-dum.

Summer

2008-04-25T10:28:00.002+08:00

What a summer, what a summer!
This is magic indeed.
And how, I ask you, did it come to us
Unsought and undeserved?

- Fyodor Tyutchev

Love, love

2008-04-24T09:42:00.006+08:00

Watched The Savages last night.

Wendy (Laura Linney) suddenly kisses Jimmy (Gbenga Akkinagbe) but he moves away. She apologizes in horror but he gently explains: "It's just that I'm in love with my girlfriend."

Damn.

How many guys would actually do that?

****

For some reason, I'd never read Dr. Zhivago (or watched the movie for that matter). A few weeks back, I saw a copy in Fully Booked and the cover said that it was one of the greatest love stories ever told. And so I bought it.

Russian literature is always hard to read. But I doggedly waded my way through confusing historical references and slogged through the dreary landscape and basically dismal picture the author painted, eagerly awaiting to reach the climax and find out what made this one of the greatest love stories ever told.

I read on and on and waited. Waited to fall in love, as I usually do when reading love stories. Alas, I kept waiting. To make things worse, I started to get seriously depressed about three-quarters into the book. By the time I finished, I was cross, really, really depressed, and feeling cheated.

A man cheating on his wife is not my idea of the greatest love story ever told. I couldn't care less if Lara was supposed to be Zhivago's one great, incredible love. I know we all wish for that kind of love. But he was cheating on Tonya -- dear, devoted, simple Tonya, whose one and only mistake was to love Zhivago blindly and purely. Ugh.

I would absolutely die if this ever became the situation between me and the man I love:

[Zhivago] worshipped Tonya. Her peace of mind meant more to him than anything in the world. He was ready to defend her honour and was more sensitive to anything touching it than her father or herself. In defence of her pride he would have torn anyone apart with his own hands.

And yet now he was offending against it himself.

Men.

What a heartache that would be indeed.

I would imagine that if Zhivago had not been taken by the Reds, he would have gone back to Tonya and stayed with her and their children, bound to them not by love, but by duty and obligation -- his sense of honor. But his heart would always be somewhere else.

Wouldn't any girl's heart break if she found out she was in this position?

And has chance would have it, Tonya did find out.

Her goodbye letter to Zhivago was heartbreaking. Sap that I am, I cried upon reading it. Ack! Horrible, horrible thought. Ugh.

I was excited to watch movie. I thought I'd watch it after reading the book. But now, I don't want to anymore. Why go through that misery again?

****

I can't end on such heavy thoughts. I thought I'd post this. It's so cute. (Just FYI, these belong to Ronnie, Fiore and baby love Alfonso, on his first trip to the U.S.)

Tee hee. I can't wait to have my own, uh, version. :)

Adventure Weekend Part 2

2008-03-26T09:54:00.009+08:00

After a short but relaxing stay on Camiguin Island, we were ready for a fun-filled adventure in Cagayan de Oro.

Day Three

We didn't wake up so early this time. We were rushing to get to the port in time for the 11 o'clock ferry back to the mainland. We got there on time, but the ferry didn't leave on time. Karen's mom was already waiting for us on the other side way before we left the port.

I really have to give a shout out here to Kar's mom and bro. Tita and Ken: you guys are great! We can't thank you enough for making our trip so much more fun and smooth!

We were taken straight to the Macahambus Adventure Park. There we took a walk on the Skybridge, 150 meters above the ground. It was much scarier than I thought it would be. To get back, we took the Zip Line, flying down 12o meters of rope over rocks, water and trees. Total adrenaline rush. I wanted to do it again, but we had to rush to get ready for our cave adventure.

Trekking, rapelling and spelunking all in one. For the first time for all of us. But we completed it in two hours instead of the three it was supposed to be. I felt like Super Woman afterwards. A very stinky Super Woman. We came out of our caving adventure alive and quite proud of ourselves, but covered in mud and bat shit. And I did it all in slippers. Yes, pretty little light-duty beach slippers. Whew! I'm giving myself five stars for that.

The sad part is that we didn't have photos of this one great adventure. They run out of dry bags so we couldn't take any cameras. Boo.

Tired and aching all over, we booked ourselves for another adventure, worked our way through a great big buffet dinner, stopped for a relaxing Thai massage, and happily settled into our rooms at the Mallberry Hotel. Good hotel everyone. :)

Day Four

This was the day I looked forward to the most. Whitewater rafting, yeah!

Our guide Sky picked us up early at the hotel and after picking up some other adventure-seekers in town, off we went up the mountains and down again to the great big Cagayan River.

We slathered on sunscreen, lots and lots. Some guy came up to me and offered to pay me for some lotion. Maybe I should have let him pay me, haha.

Aries, our guide, briefed everyone on the rules – basically what to do if you fall off – and we pushed off.

I don’t know how to begin to tell you how much fun it was. The sun was high in the sky, the river banks on both sides were lush and green, the breeze ever present. We passed fourteen rapids all in all. And each time we went through one, a nervous scream, a shout of exhilaration or a joyful laugh would erupt from one of us.

“Playing”, as Aries called it, was the most fun of all. At one point, he told us to paddle in such a way that the raft went in circles, on and on, until we got out of the rapids. I wanted to do it again, but I guess it was safe to do that only at that particular spot.

We finished the course shortly after noon. We would’ve wanted to tarry awhile and have lunch by the river, but we had to rush again to reach the hotel before check out time.

And thus our four-day adventure ended. We had lunch and dropped by the Kagay Whitewater rafting office for our photos and proceeded to the airport. We were almost late for the plane (we had to get those photos!) and were the last to board.

Tired but happy.

Oh, I just heart CDO. Good food, great adventure, warm, generous people. I’m definitely going back. :)

p.s. I have more photos here:

http://beaguidote.multiply.com/photos/album/20/White_Water_Rafting_in_Cagayan_de_Oro_City

and http://beaguidote.multiply.com/photos/album/19/White_Island_Camiguin

Adventure Weekend Part 1

2008-03-25T14:26:00.012+08:00

For the Holy Week / Easter holidays, Doris, Jay and I flew to Cagayan de Oro. We had two things in mind: to take a short trip to Camiguin Island and to do some white water rafting in Cagayan.

Day One

We flew in on Good Friday, only to find that the usual transportation system was not the usual. The buses weren't running from the city to the port, and no one could tell us for sure if there was a ferry to take us to Camiguin.

I decided to call Karen's mom to ask for more information only to be most pleasantly surprised when she offered to take us to the port! Wilting under the Good Friday sun at the almost already deserted airport after an early flight and no sleep the night before, I never felt more relief in my life.

And so Kar's mom and brother took us to the Port of Balingoan, more than an hour away from the city, where we caught the last ferry leaving for Camiguin Island. We really got lucky that day.

That's how we felt on the ferry anyway.

When we got to the island, we went around different resorts but all were fully booked. Let me tell you, I am not going on another Holy Week vacation without making reservations for accommodations! We had imagined that there would be no one going to Camiguin with everyone else going to Boracay, Puerto Galera, Baguio, etc., but we could not have been more mistaken.

It was almost evening when, tired, cross and hungry, we finally found this small place in promixity of White Island, the main tourist attraction of Camiguin. We probably paid thrice as much as we should have on a normal day, but well, it wasn't a normal day.

We felt lucky again. We're easy to please. :)

Day Two

We woke up quite early for the first item on our agenda: diving. All three of us hadn't gone diving in so long so we were kinda apprehensive. (Or maybe it was just me.)

Without any briefing, off we went in the direction of White Island. I didn't (and still don't) know our instructor's name, nor the dive site we went to. Maybe I should have asked?

Anyway, to cut the story short, I went down so fast the first time, I think I nearly ruptured my eardrums. I tried again but I really couldn't equalize under. I wanted to wait awhile and get my groove on but the instructor seemed quite impatient so I told him to go ahead without me instead.

I was on my way back to the boat when Jay surfaced as well. He said he couldn't find anyone under. I told him what happened to me while we waited for the instructor to come up after him. But the guy didn't show.

Jay and I decided to go down by ourselves. Maybe it wasn't a very wise decision considering we didn't know the area. But why waste the chance to dive again? So down we went, with Jay pulling me along as I wasn't feeling so confident. We circled the area and were lucky enough to see a lion fish, some Nemos and a sea snake. But there really wasn't much to see.

Still, it was good to be under water again. It's good to know I haven't forgotten how to do it. It's just a darn shame that we couldn't find Jay's underwater camera casing! No proof we went diving, haha.

After diving, we asked to be dropped at White Island. My jaw dropped when I saw the place.

It's just this sand bar in the middle of the sea. But my goodness. It's pure white sand surrounded by the loveliest aquamarine waters. Beautiful, beautiful. Despite the holiday crowd, it was for me the prettiest sight I had ever seen.

Hmm. I think I wanna get married there, haha. Okay, if not that, just have a private party there. That would be the nicest, funnest thing ever. (Karen, no need for your Thai island. White Island na!)

We would have wanted to stay longer but the boat came to take us back. We still had the Camiguin Island tour to make. Even though it wasn't recommended, we opted to do it anyway.

The driver took us to see the Sunken Cemetery with the Cross Marker. All we saw was the cross as the tide was high and we didn't want to venture into the water to see the graves. We also stopped by the ruins of the Gui-Ob Church, an old Spanish church that was wiped out by a volcanic eruption. Next stop was the Stations of the Cross. We had to climb the hill to see all fourteen stations, but we only managed to reach the fifth! Haha. Wobbly legs. And unhealthy lungs. We just gave up!

The next site was a refreshing stop. Literally. Doris and Jay took a dip in the cold waters of the Katibawasan Falls but I wasn't brave enough to join them. I was content to watch the water drop from 250 feet up down into the rock pool, warm and dry under my shawl. :)

After that cold stop, we tried the Ardent Hot Spring as well, but it was just too crowded, you couldn't find a place to sit in any of the many pools in the resort. Tough luck for us.

And thus our island tour ended. But not our day. We hied off to Paras Beach Resort to watch the sun go down. And what a lovely sunset it was.

A fiery sunset on the island they say was born of fire. A perfect end to our stay on Camiguin Island.

Hear Me Roar!

2008-03-13T14:59:00.004+08:00

Jay has a new cat.

He saved another stray about a month ago, and now he has this so-ugly-that-she's-cute pet that provides him with entertainment when he's bored.

Okay that doesn't quite give him justice. He really does love cats. He wants to take home every stray kitty he sees on the streets!

He already did once before. He adopted this other stray about ten months ago. We loved little Puntili.

But she died while Jay was in Turkey. Landlady claimed she got run over by a car. Claimed, that is. But that's another story.

Why am I talking about cats anyway?

I'm really no fan of cats. (Sorry cat lovers out there.)

But I have to admit, they do grow on you.

This cat, which we still have to name (I had a name in mind, but it doesn't work), is crazy. She really is. I just know it. But she's playful, obedient, and useful! Kills cockroaches, that kitty.

Yesterday we caught her jumping up and looking at herself in the mirror. She paused awhile and seemed to nod in approval and went back to playing with the curtains. One of the few times I thought she was completely adorable and funny.

This morning, I saw this really cute photo. I had a good laugh. I had to send it to Jay. Doting dad to this yet-to-be-named kitty that he is.

This comes at a good time too. When I'm dealing with some self-esteem issues of my own.

I have to learn how to look into a mirror and say: Today I know in my deepest level that I am an incredible woman. I am all that and more.

Oh yes! Rawr!

Excited, excited!

2008-03-04T12:27:00.008+08:00

I shall be studying in Olomouc in the Czech Republic and San Sebastian in Spain come this September for a Masters Programme in Euroculture. So excited, I looked up these places and got some photos.

I'm sure the real thing will be even better. But in the meantime, I am whetting my appetite with these previews.

Olomouc Town Square -- I shall be expanding my architectural knowledge in no time.

Cathedral of St. Wenceslas -- I think I shall be going to church more often when I'm there!

Map of Olomouc and its surrounding areas -- places I most definitely will visit! Prague, Vienna, Budapest, Krakow, and Bratislava to name a few.

Aerial view of San Sebastian, a picturesque city by the bay.

Sidewalk cafes on a San Sebastian street after the rain.

Map of San Sebastian and its surrounding areas that I must visit! Bilbao, Salamanca, Zaragoza, Barcelona, Toulouse, Bordeaux, etc.

Haha, Jay has been reminding me that I'm going there to study. I tend to forget. No worries, I plan to make good on my studies. But I sure plan on doing a lot of travelling as well. Food tripping, shopping, sight-seeing, visiting old friends. So many things to do, so little time.

Ooh, I can't wait.

My Sign

2008-02-21T10:54:00.002+08:00

TAURUS - The Enduring One

Charming but aggressive.
Can come off as boring, but they are not.
Hard workers.
Warm-hearted.
Strong, has endurance.
Solid beings who are stable and secure in their ways.
Not looking for shortcuts.
Take pride in their beauty.
Patient and reliable.
Make great friends and give good advice.
Loving and kind.
Loves hard - passionate.
Express themselves emotionally.
Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums.
Determined.
Indulge themselves often.
Very generous.

....

Hmmm.

All I can say is, beware the ferocious (!) temper tantrums :P

Anxious/Excited

2008-02-18T14:14:00.003+08:00

I had such a busy weekend and I was planning to write about it today -- a rally, becoming a fairy princess, and running 5km.

But this morning I received such great news, I just have to share it with everyone. (I will talk about my interesting weekend some other time. Perhaps when I have the photos.)

For today, this is all I can think of.

****

dear applicant to the Erasmus Mundus master EUROCULTURE,

Herewith I have the pleasure to send you, attached, a letter of provisional acceptance to the Erasmus Mundus master EUROCULTURE. The letter is in pdf.format (to open in Acrobat Reader).

Please closely read the contents of the letter and inform me within of next week if you accept the provisional placement in our masters programme 2008-2009.

On behalf of the Euroculture consortium,
Kind regards,

Mrs.Marloes van der Weij
Secretariat
Erasmus Mundus master EUROCULTURE
University of Groningen - The Netherlands

****

I have to wait until May to see if the provisional part will be dropped. But can I be a bit excited now? :P

Weeee! Europe, here I come! (Keeping fingers and toes crossed!)

Fun Run!

2008-02-11T13:19:00.000+08:00

DZMM “Takbo para sa Kalikasan”

It's on February 17, 2008, and will kick off at the Quirino Grandstand, Luneta. This is for the benefit of La Mesa Watershed and its continued rehabilitation, the primary source of drinking water of Metro Manila.

For those interested, you may call ABS-CBN at 4152272 loc. 5638, 5674, 5629, at 5641 or Rudy Biscocho 727.9987; 0918.9158536 Vasquez Madrigal Bldg., Anapolis, Greenhills 9AM-5PM. Registration is until February 15, 2008.

This was last year. Let's see if I can do it again this year! Yeah!

What is happening to our country?!?

2008-02-06T14:31:00.000+08:00

PDI Editorial
6 February 2008

MANILA, Philippines -- Presidents have toppled Speakers before, but never in such gangland fashion. The removal of Jose de Venecia Jr. had all the elements of a Mafia assassination. False promises were made, not only to give De Venecia a false sense of security, but in order to deceive the public. Malacañang announced no action was to take place on Monday. In so doing, it hoped media and public attention would be deflected, and the risks of De Venecia making a harmful speech would be minimized since he wouldn’t have time to prepare, and the public wouldn’t be expecting it. The rubout would be neat, and clean.

This is why the impatience of Rep. Abraham Mitra of Palawan province was so unseemly, but so politically understandable. He swiftly moved to declare the speakership vacant, and then, during the two hours the session was adjourned, he kept urging its resumption regardless of procedures. In the caucuses that took place in the House during that two-hour lull, the marching orders from the Palace were clear: save congressmen some embarrassment by refusing a roll call vote, and deny De Venecia his swan song. But in the full glare of publicity, the Palace failed to achieve either. Instead of a surgical strike, every House member had to step up and do his part in the dirty deed.

We say dirty not in the sense that it was an unfitting end for De Venecia speakership -- the country gloried in his fall, we have to say. But in all the long history of bootlicking by the House of Representatives, never had it institutionally surrendered so abjectly, so cravenly, to executive influence as it did last Monday. For it elected, not just a Speaker handpicked by the Palace, which is par for the course, instead it elected three speakers: Prospero Nograles, and the Arroyo brothers, Mikey and Dato.

All the fig leaves meant to disguise the naked greed of the congressmen, all the orations about “reform” and “change” were shibboleths, words long stripped of their real meaning, concepts long ago discarded as outmoded by the House. They were excuses which time and again the congressmen who rose to register their votes revealed as secondary. To what? Their projects, their pork barrel. Taking turns to genuflect before the President’s sons, and their partners in politics, they voted not for change or reform, but for more of the same.

It was a vote of confidence in a system refined by the administration, with the enthusiastic participation, once upon a time, of De Venecia himself, where the House abandoned all fiscal independence and surrendered the power of the purse utterly to Malacañang. In that sense, De Venecia was killed by an instrument of his own making.

He shortsightedly believed that politics is a numbers game, not realizing, until the moment of his own political peril, that numbers in politics are written in the sand. He’d hoped to fatten his party at public expense, yet when another party proved better in mobilizing the cash, his party became an accomplice in his fall.

It’s a cautionary tale about power. But De Venecia’s fall is not the cause for public revulsion at what transpired in the House. Instead, it was the sight of old and young leaders united by avarice and blinded by ambition. The baptism into congressional politics received by the 84 neophytes at the House makes it truly deserving of what was said by Arsenio Lacson of Ernesto Maceda, who ironically sat as a witness to the Monday night rubout: “So young, and yet so…” All of them.

For the public, it was a sign that what the House has become will persist: a lapdog institution, with no sense of independence or integrity, heedless of its constitutional prerogatives. And of a unicameral pseudo-parliamentary system to come, ruled by a ruthless First Family of political buccaneers. No one can have any illusions, at this point, that their appetite, always unbounded, is now out of control.

We are reminded of how the Batasang Pambansa thundered its approval of Nicanor Yniguez’s proclamation of Ferdinand Marcos as the victor in the 1986 snap election. They were oblivious to the sentiment of the public, which consigned the dictator’s rubber stamp to the dustbin of history. Ferdinand Marcos Jr. was as cocky then as the Arroyo brothers are now.

Music and me

2008-02-05T12:51:00.000+08:00

I have another blog, Soundtrack. I occasionally post songs on it. Song for the day. The song pretty much lets you know how I was feeling at that time.

Music is so much a part of my life. Every time I feel strongly about something, there is always a song to match the moment. I can’t imagine life without music.

There are so many times when I am all choked up with emotion and I feel like no one could ever feel the way I do at that moment. But then I hear a song blaring on the radio, and someone is singing about the exact same feelings I have. I just shake my head and wonder.

It still surprises me to find that human experience is, after all, human experience. But it somehow comforts me. It’s good to know you are not alone in your pain, or joy, or loneliness, or excitement.

I mourned my aunt with the help of Josh Groban’s To Where You Are. This guy, without his knowing it, helped me through my pain.

Cheesy, and embarrassing to admit, as it is, I wallowed with Mariah Carey’s My All after my first breakup. Pined after this crush and that with Annie Lennox’s Waiting in Vain. Dreamed about forever with someone along with Bonnie Bailey’s Ever After. Cried my eyes out with Siljie’s Fall when that forever didn’t come to pass.

On my happy days, I alternate between Katrina and the Waves’ I’m Walking On Sunshine, Corinne Bailey Rae’s Put Your Records On and Juice’s Best Days.

Billy Joel’s Vienna gets me thinking. Diana Ross’ Do You Know Where You’re Going To keeps me thinking.

When I feel lonely as hell, Remy Zero says the words I cannot say with his Save Me.

I even think up theme songs for other people. I keep insisting to Karen that Breathe's How Can I Fall is the perfect song, not for her, but for the men in her life. I used to tease my sister endlessly with Ariel Rivera's Getting to Know Each Other. She hated it.

I previously wrote about this rollercoaster love I’m on, and so the songs I identify with are as varied as can be. From the classic Fascination by Nat King Cole to pop sensation Gwen Stefani’s 4 In the Morning. From confident with Mary J. Blige’s Be Without You to confused with Tina Arena’s If I Didn’t Love You to content with Van Morrison’s Someone Like You and happy with Kaskade’s Never Ending.

The songs are really never ending. For as long as I live I shall be finding songs to keep me company. It’s the only way to keep me sane! :)

p.s. Maybe one day, when they make a movie about my life, they won’t need to worry about the soundtrack, because I’m already putting it all down for the record. Hahahaha.

Unsure

2008-01-28T15:28:00.000+08:00

I was watching this movie, Madea's Family Reunion, during the weekend. It wasn't so good but as I had nothing else to do, I sat through it anyway. I'm just happy to say that I was rewarded with some pretty good insight:

"Love is many things. It's varied. But one thing it is not and can never be is UNSURE."

Hay nako.

I love Heath Ledger

2008-01-23T09:45:00.000+08:00

It's like a terrible joke.

I can't believe Heath Ledger is dead.

I actually got a bit teary-eyed when I read the news this morning. It's just crazy!

He was such a great actor. I am sure he will be remembered for his Oscar-nominated performance in Brokeback Mountain and his bold film choices (I'm Not There, Monster's Ball, Candy).

But I will forever love him as Patrick in 10 Things I Hate About You. I loved him in The Patriot and Casanova as well, but nothing beats his Can't-Take-My-Eyes-Off-You-singing bad boy character in that remake of The Taming of the Shrew. *sigh*

He will be sorely missed.

Time

2008-01-18T10:38:00.000+08:00

They say time heals all wounds.

And so I am waiting...
to heal
to forget
to move on
to feel whole again.

Waiting...
for this nightmare to end
for this pain to go away
for this anger to fade
for this love to be whole again.

Life lessons

2008-01-16T09:38:00.000+08:00

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.

You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.

You'll fight with your best friend.

You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.

You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love.

So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin!

Thought for the Day

2008-01-10T09:20:00.000+08:00

"Sometimes, I have to fall from the mountain to realize what I am climbing for...

Obstacles are placed in my way to see if what I want is really WORTH FIGHTING FOR...

From every wound there's a scar... and every scar tells a story...

A story that says: I SURVIVED! ...and will continue surviving!"

2007 / 2008

2008-01-09T13:01:00.000+08:00

I've been trying to decide on whether to write a The-Year-That-Was piece on 2007 or not.

At first, I was thinking that 2007 was pretty unremarkable. Looking back, it seemed that nothing much happened -- nothing new, nothing out of the ordinary.

But when I thought about it again, it dawned on me that 2007 marked the longest time I have ever stayed at a job, and the longest time I've been in a relationship. Oh miracle of miracles.

I would like to take this as a sign of maturity. Oh yes, it seems that I am growing up. Finally, finally. Have I finally shed my restlessness and itching desire to be "anywhere else but here"?

Perhaps I have. Or then again maybe I haven't.

I am still waiting, with crossed fingers and a hopeful heart, for the results of my application to the Gottingen University in Germany for a Masters Degree. Guess I still have that longing to be somewhere else.

But this time, I know what I am doing. This time I have a plan, a workable plan. This should be quite unlike my harebrained (but really really fun!) trip to Thailand :P I just have to get accepted first! Darn, March seems so far away. Can't wait for the results!

Anyway, where was I? Ah, 2007, the year that was.

Well, it was a quiet year for me. But I guess in that quietness, I discovered how to live a better, happier life. I feel that I have mellowed down. I am more content with what Life has given me. I know who and what are important to me. And I know better than to clutter my life with what are not. I would like to believe that I have grown wiser.

I look forward to this year and the endless possibilities it brings. Where will tomorrow bring me? No one knows. But I am not afraid. In fact, I am excited. Whatever happens.

(Yes, even not getting accepted to that Masters Course. But I'd rather, much much rather, get accepted.)

Stronger and wiser, that's what I am. And with friends, family and loved ones at my side, I can face anything. 2008, bring it on!

On being maarte

2008-01-07T11:06:00.000+08:00

I've been learning that some people think I'm maarte.

Now that just leaves me stumped. I know I shriek at the sight of cockroaches, gag at the thought of balut and roll my eyes at wrong grammar but God knows I can clean a toilet bowl (well, if I really have to), walk through dirt and mud, play with smelly, runny-nosed kids, eat at a Jolly Jeep, and many other things the real maarte people would never deign do.

I refuse to accept that I am maarte. Okay, maybe just a little. But I guess some people think otherwise. That's fine I guess -- to each his own opinion.

But what constitutes maarte anyway? There doesn't even seem to be an English word that captures its exact meaning. I have always believed that, just like beauty, it is in the eye of the beholder. Its meaning is quite relative, dependent on the, let me say, accuser.

So accuse all you want. But don’t let it stop you from appreciating my good qualities. (Yes, I do have some!)

What bugs me is that some people judge you as such and stop there. Maarte is an adjective for the superficial traits of a person. Refusing to get to know and appreciate another person once you have judged him or her as such, is almost the same as not choosing to befriend someone because he or she isn't physically beautiful.

My friend Karen should be able to tell you that when we first met, she thought I was one of the most maarte people she had ever met. And yet today we are the grandest of friends. And I am most grateful for her ability to look beyond this inexplicable (to me, anyway) maarte aura of mine.

I would like to think that I have this same generous and open spirit when it comes to others. (Hmm, I really think I do.) So I feel somehow miffed to think that others aren't that way. But oh well, what can I do? Not everyone's as nice :P

Perhaps the problem begins with one's insecurities. We can always judge someone to be like this or like that. Now the important thing is to ask how we hold our own against that. How do we deal with it? We can choose to be catty and nasty about it, or we can accept that people have their quirks and laugh at it. If you think you're fabulous, hell, everyone can be maarte for all you care.

****

As my very loyal friend commented, "insecure lang yan!", pertaining to this one person who said I'm maarte. Thanks Drea, you are so right! Haha.

So who cares if people don't want to get to know me because they think I'm maarte? I have friends who know I am, and love me anyway! :)

Boracay Island for the New Year

2008-01-04T13:21:00.000+08:00

December 29, we flew to Caticlan via SEA Air on a 19-seater plane! It was a bit cramped and hot in the cabin, but we got there without a hitch. At the end of the flight, the pilot merely had to turn around to thank us for flying SEA Air, without even using a speakerphone! Haha :)

It was drizzling when we got to the island, and the weather forecast wasn't looking good. However, we had a lucky charm with us. The ambassador claimed that wherever he went, the weather turned fine, and so we shouldn't worry at all. True enough, by the time we checked in and finished our late lunch, the sun was shining through the clouds. He hadn't been kidding!

We watched the fire dancers at Summerplace that night. It was entertaining but they weren't as good as the Zip dancers I saw in Greenbelt a few months back. Oh well.

Tired but happy after a few hours of frolicking on the beach

Hanging out at Hey Jude, the only place we'd go for drinks

****

December 30 was another beautiful day. The sun was out and the sea was lovely. Doris, Jay and I rode on the Flying Fish. (We had wanted to do it last year but didn't get to.) It was a bit scary at first, but with two big guys flanking me, it turned out to be great fun.

We stayed on the beachfront watching the sun go down. Now I am finally fully convinced that we have the best sunsets!

I just had to have a sunset photo!

Catching the last few rays of the sun with Jay and Doris.

****

The Ambassador's charm seemed to be holding out until December 31. The presence of some undesirables almost marred my day, but with the golden sun, cool breeze and sparkling sea right before me, I couldn't allow anything to get me down.

We played cards on the beach. Jay beat me soundly at Gin Rummy. I then taught the Ambassador some Rummy, and he taught me some Poker. I don't think I will ever be good at it! I'd lose all my worldly possessions! :P

I wanted to enjoy an hour of peaceful massage but no, a fight broke out among some guys about 5 minutes into my massage. It lasted for about 15 minutes. Soon after, this bamboo ensemble started to play loudly some 10 meters away from me and didn't stop until my massage was almost over. So much for quiet and relaxation. Still, the lady managed to un-knot all the knots on my neck and shoulders. I was ready for a long night of partying!

Massage out in the open. Maybe it wasn't quite a good idea after all.

****

We had our New Year's Eve dinner at Le Soleil de Boracay. The food was good, though not spectacular. Still, with good wine (from Romania of course) and good company (minus the undesirables again), we had a great time. They provided all diners with kiddie trumpets and everyone had a jolly time breaking each other's ear drums.

And then came the fireworks. Just lovely. Nowhere else have I seen such a grand display of lights than in Boracay on New Year. Wherever I looked, the sky was ablaze in color. When I turned to the left, green sparks were falling towards me. On my right, white flames were shooting upward and bursting into a shower of gold. Glass of wine in hand, I sat back to silently enjoy the splendor of it all while all the people around continued making all the noise they could to welcome the New Year.

We capped our night by having some drinks at the White Party at Hey Jude. One too many drinks perhaps, for we danced our way back to the villa, stopping at clubs, both gay and straight, to party with other revelers that night. Exhaustion was a word we ignored. It was the best New Year Party ever! Fun fun fun! Can't wait for the next one!

Happy 2008 to all I love, you know who you are :)

Wine in my right hand, my honey on my left, who could ask for more?

Second year in a row with these guys in Boracay, love 'em all!

Home sweet home for Christmas

2007-12-28T12:26:00.000+08:00

It was a grand old reunion again for the family. Mom, dad, thirteen children, four in-laws, and eight grandchildren (should have been nine, but Magno wasn't allowed to come home by his school, boo!) were home for Christmas.

Here are some photos from our Christmas Eve celebration.

* There are more photos but I don't want to place them all here. You may check out my multiply site instead: http://beaguidote.multiply.com/photos/album/15/2007_Christmas . *

I hope everyone had a merry Christmas! Happy New Year Everyone! Cheers!

Mom with some of the grandchildren: Martina, Lyza, Yogie, Bookie and Fiona.

Jay and I had a color-coordinated Christmas :)

Dad humored us by putting on some antlers while giving out our Christmas presents.

Mack and Me. She's expecting another little girl by March next year!

Reindeer Bea and Bookie. Those darn things kept falling off!

More reindeer. Who's the fairest of us all? :)

Me and my honey, who is inexplicably hiding behind my antlers.

Christmas Dinner with my EU friends

2007-12-27T10:56:00.001+08:00

Here are some photos from the Christmas Dinner with my EU friends.

The new Greenbelt is so nice, isn't it?

Fish Out of Water

I was Andrea's date for the night as Macky was busy :)

Engaged couple number one: Sandro and Sheng. Where's baby Sachi?

Engaged couple number two: Albert and Tanya -- ten years and counting 'til forever.

Engaged person number three: Parej was flying solo that night but he and Pam are sure to get hitched next year!

Engaged couple number four: I will miss Janice and RJ when they move to Japan :(

That's me with Jay. Just happy to be together :)

Me again. Thanks to Sandro for the photos!

The week before Christmas

2007-12-21T13:34:00.000+08:00

I watched Avenue Q last Tuesday, and as expected, I enjoyed it a lot. The storyline was great, the cast was perfect, and those puppets were just downright funny :)

What I didn't expect was Rachel Alejandro's performance. I mean, I know she's this popular singer and all, but I've never really heard or seen her in theater. But man, she's good! I think I am now a fan.

I'm so glad I didn't miss the show. I almost did! I lost my wallet just the day before and the tickets were in it. But thanks to Rica and her cousin, that didn't matter too much. Jay and I were still able to get in. Thanks Rix!

****

Speaking of my wallet, it seems that some guys found it. But now they don't seem to want to give it back. WTF??? I mean, they were the first to get in touch with my brother. And now suddenly they don't want to talk to me? What is wrong with these people??? Argh!

****

But lost, and now captive, wallet aside, my week has been great. Meeting up with friends, shopping, wrapping presents, all great.

Dinner with college friends was quiet and intimate. It was a good time to celebrate. We were just ten, and the four couples present just all got engaged, to be married next year! Whew!

Dinner with high school friends was loud and fun. We all hadn't seen each other in years! It was great seeing everyone. We all had a good laugh about times past. I hope we'll be able to keep in touch and get together every so often.

****

*sigh. I can't wait for Christmas! We're driving south late tonight, and this time tomorrow I should be home. Home sweet home. Yipee yay!

She's so lucky, she's a star...

2007-12-14T12:21:00.000+08:00

La la la.

I feel lucky today.

Just as I stepped out of the cab this morning, the song My Heart Will Go On started to play on the radio. Whew! Talk about a narrow escape. I haven't heard that song in years but I am still so sick of it.

Although I will cop to liking it at one point -- probably one of the most deranged moments of my life, hahaha.

****

Yesterday I was reading Jane's blog. Her latest topic was Gabriel Marquez' One Hundred Years of Solitude -- how she had gotten a copy of that book only because it was the "in" read at that time, and that she hasn't been able to go beyond five pages of that book, and has no more plans of going further.

I had to laugh out loud with her experience with that book. Maybe because I've read it (and actually liked it, although it really took me quite some time to finish it), or maybe because I can relate to having been influenced by the people around me and just going with the flow.

Now here I shall insert my second excuse for having liked that song from Titanic -- I was just going with the flow! :P

And back to Jane's blog. I think that aside from describing her unsuccessful attempt to read that novel, what she really wanted to say was how important it is to trust your own opinion and not let others make it for you. I agree wholeheartedly. Err, don't worry, I'm not going to expound on that. I agree, that's all. :)

I guess I'm just bringing this up because it's always delight to read her blog. She's one of the funniest and frankest people I know. Jane, if you ever read this, we miss you! (*hint, we'd love to see you at the EU dinner on Monday!)

****

Today I learned that my blog has now two fans. Yipee! There's my brother Dohep who just read my entire blog today. Then there's Karen who declared herself a fan of my blog a long time ago. Thanks you two! You make me feel like a star! Hahaha.

Oo, mababaw kaligayan ko.

Happy Holidays everyone!

2007-12-11T14:33:00.000+08:00

Oooh. Brrr. I'm just loving the cold weather and feeling the Christmas vibe!

Walked home to Jay's place from Rockwell last night. The combination of cool breeze and bright sparkling lights just makes me happy. Warm, content, peaceful. HAPPY.

Can't wait to do my Christmas shopping -- scheduled for next week, yey!

****

I'm also set to watch Avenue Q next week. Heard it's really funny. Can't wait. It's going to be one busy week for me!

Also next week, EU Christmas get together at the new Greenbelt, we're trying out Fish Out of Water. Hope it's good. But I'm more excited to meet up with everyone. So many things are happening to everyone! We have a new baby in the block, there's saying goodbye and good luck to Deux, and then several engagements to announce and weddings to plan. I'm sure there's more. Another year gone. Aaahh, we're growing up!

****

We're driving home to Legaspi on the 22nd -- Mario, Chona, Jay and I. It'll be another of those long, long drives but I'm excited. It's always good to go home.

We have a new addition to the already huge family this year (baby Alfonso!) and another one on the way (c/o Mack). Ever expanding brood! Maybe I should contribute as well? Hahaha. Kidding. (My Europe plans are way more important!)

*sigh. I can't wait to see everyone! Especially my little nephews and nieces! I'm excited to give them these delightful lighted lollipops I found in Toy Kingdom, hehehe :)

We will be missing one person though. Magno is studying in Singapore and he's not allowed to come home for Christmas, boo. But he will be spending the holidays with Karen and her flatmates. That should keep him from missing home too much. I hope! Thanks again Kar!

****

Today I am sending my application for a Master's Degree in Euroculture off to the Netherlands. Finally, finally. Keeping my fingers crossed!

Thanks to those who helped me: Enrico, Dopey and Mom for helping me with my personal statement; Tuesday for answering all my questions; Karen who should be going to Europe next year as well; Janice, Andrea, and Sarah for encouraging me to do this; Ms. Gracie for the great reference letter; and Jay for getting my papers notarized for one, but more importantly for understanding that I have to do this. Accepted or not, I'll be always grateful for the support!

Thought for the day

2007-11-27T09:43:00.000+08:00

Life is short,
Break the rules,
Forgive quickly,
Kiss slowly,
Love truly,
Laugh uncontrollably,
And never regret anything that made you smile.

pics from the Czech National Day

2007-11-26T13:00:00.000+08:00

One more chance

2007-11-26T11:55:00.001+08:00

I watched One More Chance more than a week ago, and I still can't get it off my mind. All those darn "killer lines" as Mico would put it.

But what got me thinking was what the character of Derek Ramsay said. I can't remember the exact words but the point was that it takes two grown ups to have a relationship.

Ack! I think I need some growing up to do...

****

I am in an eternal state of confusion.

So many questions:

How does one trust again? How do you forget the hurt? How do you move on? How do you know when to give someone one more chance? How do you make things better? Is it foolish to hope that things can get better? Is love ever enough?

****

That song was playing in the cab on my way to work this morning: there's a danger in loving somebody too much.... baby sometimes love just ain't enough.

Damn. Talk about hitting the nail on the head.

Now if only that nail were on my head.

****

I think it's good to give others second chances. So we can hope that when we need one ourselves, it will also be given to us.

On second thought, it's not very nice to give something and expect that we get it back. We should give others second chances, because everyone deserves them.

As Jay said, "I am not perfect, but I am a good man."

He couldn't have said it better.

Rollercoaster Love

2007-11-06T14:15:00.000+08:00

never been so low
never been so high

never been more selfish
never been more giving

never been this scared
never been this reckless

never been so crazy
never been so sane

never been more confused
never been more sure

never known such misery
never known such happiness

never felt more pain
never felt more love

only because of you
only with you
only you

Blogthing Tests

2007-10-22T16:54:00.000+08:00

What Color Is Your Aura?

Your Aura is Blue

Spiritual and calm, you tend to live a quiet but enriching life.
You are very giving of yourself.
And it's hard for you to let go of relationships.

The purpose of your life: showing love to other people.

Famous blues include: Angelina Jolie, the Dali Lama, Oprah

Careers for you to try: Psychic, Peace Corps Volunteer, Counselor

****

How Normal Are You?

You Are 55% Normal

While some of your behavior is quite normal...
Other things you do are downright strange
You've got a little of your freak going on
But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself

****

What Season Woman Are You?

You Are Fall!

Thoughtful
Expressive
Creative
Poetic
Smart

Memory and madness

2007-10-11T13:54:00.000+08:00

Memory is a funny thing.

I remember the most inane things from the most insignificant events in my life. And I'm not even particularly aware that my memory has filed them away in some folder to be remembered only when triggered by some impulse.

Take this for example. I was walking to Greenbelt with Andrea yesterday and I remembered this guy she went out with. I've never forgotten one tiny detail about their first (and last) date she shared with me. Apparently it bothered him that she chose to use that incline for handicapped /wheelchair-ridden people (I'm not sure what you call it) instead of the stairs. Of all the things she told me about him, that one detail stuck. And I remember it almost everytime I walk up that incline instead of the stairs. I had to remind Andrea about it -- she'd almost forgotten.

It's also funny how we have different ways of trying to recall things.

One day I was about to call Jay. But for the life of me, I couldn't remember his number at home. I tried several numbers to no avail. I eventually got it after imagining myself to be at his place, with him on the phone, calling Pizza Hut and telling them his landline number. I felt quite loony for awhile after that episode.

And isn't it funny how affected we get by certain memories?

I remember being on a train once, and there was this very mild scent in the air. I knew it was a scent from my childhood, and I knew it was from a certain happy part of my childhood. But I couldn't quite put a finger on what it was particularly. I tried and tried to remember, but the scent was so mild. And naughty. It tantalized me so that I would come thisclose to remembering what that memory was, and then it would fade, and I would be at a loss once more. This went on and on until I had to get off the train, and I almost cried. I felt like I lost something. The weird thing was, I didn't know what that scent was, and I didn't know what memory it triggered. But both unknowns affected me, hit me with nostalgia, I was sad for quite awhile. (Guess I would officially qualify now as a loony with this story.)

But while that un-remembered memory made me quite disconsolate, there are a good many memories that do make me feel good and warm and fuzzy inside. Best triggers for happy memories? Bright shiny twinkling Christmas lights! And the memories that come to me aren't even all about Christmas. The malls have begun decorating with and selling all these Christmas stuff, and everytime I walk through these malls I just smile and feel good. I don't even have to remember any of those happy events in my life, I just feel happy, period.

Ah, memory. Mine sure is crazy. But I prefer to call it funny.

Feeling Tina Arena

2007-10-05T11:14:00.000+08:00

I'll lay down on your bed of coals
Offer up my heart and soul
But in returnI want you to burn
Burn for me baby

-- Burn

When you love someone
Nothings black or white
When the riptide runs
There's no wrong or right
I'll sail with you but I'll refuse to drown
So don't you take me down

-- If I Didn't Love You

Hmm. Tina Arena is so wise. If she writes her own songs, that is.

Thanks Deux, now I have new songs for my lovelife :)

On suffering

2007-10-02T13:18:00.000+08:00

If you're hurting, does it give you the right to be hurtful?

****

How does one forget painful experiences? Should one try to?

****

If you've hurt someone, how do you say you're sorry?

****

How can you "be there" for someone who doesn't seem to want you to be there? What could you offer to someone who is going (or has gone) through inexplicable suffering?

****

Is there a difference between having someone tear your heart out, and you doing it yourself? What would hurt less? What would allow you to heal faster?

Adventure and reward

2007-09-07T10:34:00.000+08:00

They took their lives in their hands and they went. If you think about it, over and over again, going back to Jason and the Argonauts, those great stories, it's all about adventure and reward. It's a story told time and again for the last 3000 years. -- Thom Beers, Deadliest Catch

If only I were that brave. Then perhaps when I'm old and gray, I would have great stories to tell my grandchildren that they could in turn tell to their own children.

Some time ago, I was thinking to myself, how much fun it would be to just run off and do something different. Like join the environmentalists trying to save the rainforests in South America, or volunteer to help save the dying children in Africa, or perhaps become a monk in far away Tibet and meditate my life away.

Aahh. If only.

****

Everyone thinks of leaving a legacy of their own. I know I do. President GMA does. COMELEC Chairman Abalos does. These crazy people in government think of nothing else, but don't seem to be doing much to leave the right kind of legacy. ZTE deal anyone? Legacy? Infamy is more like it.

Duh

2007-09-05T14:53:00.000+08:00

It was probably boredom that killed the cat.

...

2007-08-28T09:55:00.001+08:00

Here I am, I can't give you anything
Here I stand, I can't turn away
Here I am, don't want to cause you pain
Here I stand, alone and on my own again

At Grappa's with the Grycs

2007-08-24T14:07:00.000+08:00

With my favorite colleagues from the Czech Embassy: present, outgoing, and former.

My favorite crazy friend, all smiles under the logo of the best (and only) Czech beer in town.

With our favorite couple Helena and Petr. We will miss them much when they leave, boo :(

Gin Pom and Jazz

2007-08-24T12:25:00.000+08:00

My friend Karen is visiting from Singapore. On Wednesday we decided to go to Cena for our favorite gin pomelo freeze. Yum yum!

A pleasant surprise for us: it turned out to be Ladies' Jazz Night, and Sofia (or is it Sophia?) was performing. Err, she's not that great but the music was. Luke Mijares and a middle-aged lady named Nikki jammed with the band -- and were actually better performers, hahaha. I've never been a Luke Mijares fan, but well, he sure knows how to work it. As for the lady, she was just so cool!

I now know my goal in life: to be a jazz singer!!!

****

Yesterday I saw the weirdest thing on the train. The girl in front of me had eyebrows growing forward -- that's the best way I can describe them. If you looked at her from the side, her eyebrows seemed to be like eaves hanging over her eyes. So weird! :P

Sunsets and happiness

2007-08-22T10:32:00.000+08:00

I haven't been seeing any sunsets lately.

The last time I wrote about sunsets in my journal, I was quite happy. I had just come to realize that I need not go far to find happiness. That yes, sunsets in Manila are lovelier than those in Bangkok. That I just need to sit still, and see and feel the beauty of the moment -- whether I'm getting crushed by a bunch of people on the train, or enjoying a cup of coffee in one of those glass buildings along Ayala Avenue.

I told myself then that I only need to appreciate the small things around me, appreciate things that I call my own -- appreciate my life! Know that despite the troubles I have, I have so much to be grateful for. Know that I don't need to run off to another place to find happiness, when home is the only place I'll find it.

How easily I have forgotten.

I haven't been seeing any sunsets lately. I blame it on the rain. But deep down I know it's more than that.

How much easier it is to turn jaded from being happy, than to decide to be happy after turning jaded for even just awhile.

I want my sunsets back. But that's pretty much up to me. The good thing is, it's all in the mind, right? Which means I can be happy again.

I will be happy again.

Decisions, decisions

2007-08-13T09:48:00.000+08:00

The other day, I had decided that it's better to play the fool than the cynic. Today, I am not so sure.

I am a fool, that's for sure. To stay that way or not is the question.

Hmm.

nice poetry from "In Her Shoes"

2007-08-07T14:39:00.000+08:00

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)
ee cummings

i carry your heart with me
(i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it
(anywhere i go you go, my dear;
and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear no fate
(for you are my fate, my sweet)
i want no world
(for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;
which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart
(i carry it in my heart)

?

2007-08-01T15:49:00.000+08:00

I feel like my life has come to a standstill and I am just itching for something new.

Always something new. What is wrong with me?

They say happiness is a state of mind. Well I guess there's something wrong with my state of mind.

I had dinner with a friend yesterday and she commented that I seemed unhappy. That's bad. I'm not particularly unhappy. (I just want a few changes in my life, that's all.) But for someone to say something like that, that I apparently radiate unhappiness, well, that sucks. I'm not a sad person, no!

Or maybe I am. And I'm just in denial.

Ugh.

Pasalubong

2007-07-31T15:44:00.000+08:00

Jay got back from Turkey yesterday. (Finally!) And he brought me, among other things, this lovely necklace with an eye pendant. I think it's called "nazar".

I guess I'm now free from all evil and harm :) If not, well, I will be quite fashionable and full of charm :P

Okay that was quite lame. Haha. Here's a short explanation of it instead:

Throughout the whole human history, in every culture and religion, the eye figure has been considered as a powerful talisman to defy evil forces. The blue evil eye beads of Turkey - Nazar Boncugu say "Mash Allah" -- meaning "God has willed it".

In Turkey, wherever you look, you'll meet plenty of eyes looking at you. Here it is a real evil eye bead paradise. People hang a small evil eye amulet from the rear view mirror of their car, keep several small evil eye beads or charms on hand to give to guests, and hang an evil eye near their door in the home or office. Glass evil eyes are worn, often in the form of jewelry: evil eye bracelets, evil eye necklaces, evil eye anklets, gold or silver evil eye charms and pendants, blue evil eye decorative talismans, evil eye earrings, rings and plenty of evil eye ethnic jewelry sets.

It is common in the Turkish culture to give a gift of a "Blue Glass Nazar Boncugu". The shiny bead gives protection and brings luck to all. With its warm blue, the shine it has derived from the fire and the smiling face that's a typical feature of the Anatolian people, it gives happiness to friends and beloved ones.

Teşekkürler! :)

****

I have a new key chain. Radka, our Consul, just came back from a trip to Nauru. But no, the keychain's not from Nauru. It's from her short stopover in Australia.

I recently decided that if anyone gives me a key chain from any country, I would have to visit that place in my lifetime. So I guess that that's one more country on my list.

My list's still pretty short though: Malaysia, Italy, Japan, USA, Singapore, and Australia. I need more keychains! And from more exotic locations please... ;)

10 Things I hate about You

2007-07-26T09:33:00.000+08:00

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car.
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme.
I hate it, I hate the way you're always right.
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

Just a thought

2007-07-25T14:14:00.000+08:00

The truth is, we can live without the people we love. We may eventually forget them. We may spend the rest of our lives wondering about them. Still, life would go on without them. It's just a matter of choosing whether to make the best of that life or not.

How to say goodbye

2007-07-24T11:44:00.000+08:00

Here are some photos from my trip to Legaspi. (Thanks Mij!) These were taken on the day we left for Manila. (See July 9 entry)

****

Gather just outside the garage

Strike another pose on the driveway

Take a final photo before entering the car

A bright spot in my otherwise dull existence

2007-07-20T11:59:00.000+08:00

Had dinner with the Gryces last night at Cena. Loved the drinks (gin pomelo frozen, yum!), loved the company even more. I will miss these colleagues of mine so much when they leave. :(

****

I really need to find something to do. Perhaps German classes. That should keep me busy for awhile. Oh well, can't wait for August. That's when classes start.

Great expectations

2007-07-18T10:54:00.000+08:00

They say that when you expect too much, you hurt just as much when you don't get that what you were hoping for. And thus, one mustn't expect too much.

Well I don't expect much. I don't have grand expectations. I have dreams, but I'd like to think I'm a realist. Still, I have had more than my fair share of disappointments. And I'm just beginning to realize why.

My problem is that I get excited easily. Even over the smallest things. I like looking forward to things. Even those of the least bit of importance. And so too do I get disappointed easily. Even if it's just a small thing.

I used to think that the phrase "great expectations" meant grand dreams and ambitions. Now I'm seeing that any expectation can be great, it only depends on how much you care.

Maybe I should stop caring so much.

Basketball fever

2007-07-16T14:52:00.001+08:00

I watched three basketball games at the Araneta Coliseum yesterday: China vs Syria, Philippines vs Lebanon, and Talk n Text Phone Pals vs Alaska Aces.

The first game was inconsequential. I felt no urge to cheer for either the Chinese or the Syrians. But the game did get a bit exciting towards the end when the Chinese rallied and even got the lead for awhile. Still they were no match for the Syrians who were bigger and taller -- if my memory serves me right, haha.

The second game was much more fun and exciting -- it brought out the cheerleader and Filipino in me. I'm a mere fan and no expert, but I think it was great team work that allowed the Philippine team to win over the Lebanese. They just had two guys (no. 11 and 15 -- their names are kinda hard to remember) who were doing most of the work. But for the Philippines, everyone was really working hard. Top scorers were Jimmy Alapag (most deserving MVP of the Invitational Tournament), Mark Caguioa (started slow but finished with a bang), and Kelly Williams (great offensive and defensive plays). Others quietly contributed points here and there while playing great defense. Okay, I will stop the commentary right here. Haha. It was a great game, that's all. :)

Even after those two previous games I was still keen on watching the third game, the 5th game of the PBA Championship series between the Talk n Text Phone Pals and the Alaska Aces. I'm more of a San Miguel fan so I wasn't really planning to cheer for either team. But since it's not fun to watch a game without taking sides, I decided to cheer for Alaska, out of loyalty to my mom. :P Unfortunately, we were seated on the Phone Pals' side so I had to keep my cheering to a bare minimum. I could have lived with that. What ruined it all for me was the rowdy crowd that just wouldn't stop!

I mean, there is rooting for your team, and then there is plain lack of courtesy and manners. My friends and I were stuck in the middle of a group of well, die-hard is the word I guess, die-hard Phone Pal fans. They were just quarrelling everyone: the referees, the players, the audience on the other side, and even each other. One lady (well, not quite) was screaming curses at the referee for, what was in her opinion, a bad call, with her young daughter right beside her. I was appalled to say the very least.

Oh I cannot begin to describe the behavior of the others in the box with us. It was just horrible. To think we had patron seats! I think the people in the upper boxes had more fun watching the game. We did not enjoy the game anymore, even though it was actually a quite exciting game -- high scoring and suspense-filled. It could have gone into overtime! But I'm not gna start on another commentary... hehe.

Anyway, I went home with a terrible headache. And the resolve to not expose myself to that kind of abuse ever again. I think I shall settle with watching games on TV and subject my siblings to my occasional screams and running commentary instead.

Why wait?

2007-07-12T11:08:00.000+08:00

The Sacrament Of Waiting
Fr. James Donelan, S.J.

The English poet John Milton wrote that those who serve only also stand and wait. I think I would go further and say that those who wait render the highest form of service. Waiting requires more discipline, more self-control and emotional maturity, more unshakable faith in our cause, more unwavering hope in the future, more sustaining love in our hearts that all the greatest deeds of deering-do go by the name of action.

Waiting is a mystery - a natural sacrament of life - there is a meaning hidden in all the times we have to wait. It must be an important mystery because there is so much waiting in our lives.

Everyday is filled with those little moments of waiting (testing our patience and our nerves, schooling us in self-control.) We wait for meals to be served,for a letter to arrive, for a friend to call or show up for a date. We wait in line at cinemas and theaters, concerts and circuses. Our airline terminals, railway stations and bus depots are great temples of waiting filled with men and women who wait in joy for the arrival of a loved one - or wait in sadness to say goodbye and give the last wave of hand. We wait for springs to come - or autumn - for the rains to begin and stop.

And we wait for ourselves to grow from childhood to maturity. We wait for those inner voices that tell us when we are ready for the next stop.

We wait for graduation, for our first job, our first promotion. We wait for success and recognition. We wait to grow up - to reach the stage where we make our own decisions. We cannot remove this waiting from our lives. It is a part of the tapestry of living - the fabric in which the threads are woven to tell the story of our lives.

Yet current philosophies would have us forget the need to wait "grab all the gusto you can get." So reads one of America's greatest beer ads - get it now! Instant pleasure, instant transcendence. Do not wait for anything. Life is short - eat, drink and be merry because tomorrow you will die. And so they rationalize us into accepting unlicensed and irresponsible freedom - pre-marital sex and extra marital affairs - they warn against attachments and commitments - against expecting anything of anybody, or allowing them to expect anything of us - against dropping any anchors in the currents of our life that will cause us to hold and wait.

This may be the correct prescription for pleasure - but even that is fleeting and doubtful - what was it Shakespeare said about the mad pursuit of pleasure - "Past reason hunted, and once had, past reason hated." Not if we wish to be real human beings, spirit as well as flesh, soul as well as heart, we have to learn to wait. For if we never learn to wait, we will never learn to love someone other than ourselves.

For most of all waiting means waiting for someone else. It is a mystery, brushing by our face everyday like a stray wind of leaf falling from a tree. Anyone who has loved knows how much waiting goes into it - how much waiting is important for love to grow, to flourish through a lifetime.

Why is this? Why can we not have it right now what we so desperately want and need? Why must we wait - two years, three years - and seemingly waste so much time? You might as well ask why a tree should take so long to bear fruit - the seed to flower - carbon to change to diamond.

There is no simple answer - no more than there is to life's other demands - having to say goodbye to someone you love because either you or they have made other commitments; or because they have to grow and find the meaning of their own lives - having yourself to leave home and loved ones to find your own path - good-byes, like waiting, are also sacraments of our lives.

All we know is that growth - the budding, the flowering of love needs patient waiting. We have to give each other a time to grow. There is no way we can make someone else truly love us or we them, except through time. So we give each other that mysterious gift of waiting - of being present without asking demands and rewards. There is nothing harder to do than this. It truly tests the depth and sincerity of our love. But there is life in the gift we give.

So lovers wait for each other - until they can see things the same way - or let each other freely see things in quite different ways.

There are times when lovers hurt each other and cannot regain the balance of intimacy of the way they were. They have to wait - in silence - but still present to each other - until the pain subsides to an ache and then only a memory and the threads of the tapestry can be woven together again in a single love story.

What do we lose when we refuse to wait; when we try to find shortcuts through life - when we try to incubate love and rush blindly and foolishly into a commitment we are neither mature nor responsible enough to assume? We lose the hope of truly loving or of being loved. Think of all the great love stories of history and literature - isn't it of their very essence that they are filled with this strange but common mystery - that waiting is part of the substance - the basic fabric against which the story of that true love is written.

How can we ever find either life or true love if we are too impatient to wait for it?

Trips

2007-07-09T16:28:00.000+08:00

I just got back from Legaspi. I was able to spend four days at home. Oh god bless the Czechs for their holidays! :)

It was all unplanned, it was just lovely: EVERYONE went home. Siblings 1 to 13, applicable spouses, nephews and nieces included. My mom couldn't quite decide which grandchild to play with! And which child to scold for all the merciless teasing and bantering going on. Haha.

I had a grand time taking care of my nieces and nephews, particularly Martina and Alfonso, the youngest of the group. I felt very much the proud aunt for achieving the feat of making them fall asleep in my arms. It felt so good. I think I have baby envy, hahaha.

Anyway, I can't wait for the photos. (Mar, Fif, Chiara: *hint*) We don't get together so often like that, so photos are in order. I will post some soon as I get them.

****

Still don't know when Jay is coming back. Ay ay.

How is it possible to miss someone so much when you've lived more than half your life without him anyway?

*sigh*

You just have to love Pablo Neruda

2007-07-04T10:22:00.000+08:00

If You Forget Me

I want you to know

one thing.

You know how this is:

if I look at the crystal moon, at the red branch

of the slow autumn at my window,

if I touch

near the fire

the impalpable ash

or the wrinkled body of the log,

everything carries me to you,

as if everything that exists,

aromas, light, metals,

were little boats

that sail

toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,

if little by little you stop loving me

I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly

you forget me

do not look for me,

for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,

the wind of banners

that passes through my life,

and you decide

to leave me at the shore

of the heart where I have roots,

remember

that on that day,

at that hour,

I shall lift my arms

and my roots will set off

to seek another land.

But

if each day,

each hour,

you feel that you are destined for me

with implacable sweetness,

if each day a flower

climbs up to your lips to seek me,

ah my love, ah my own,

in me all that fire is repeated,

in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,

my love feeds on your love, beloved,

and as long as you live it will be in your arms

without leaving mine.

Ho hum

2007-07-02T09:37:00.000+08:00

I am waiting again.

Waiting for Jay to come back from Turkey.

Waiting for August to come so I can go to that interview for a job I really want.

Waiting for Thursday to come so I can fly back home.

Waiting for something exciting to happen in my life.

Ho hum.

Eat and drink the Czech way

2007-06-29T12:21:00.000+08:00

Learn to prepare those delightful miniature sandwiches called chlebíčky (kle-bitch-ki).

Set the table, make sure there's a place for everyone. Don't forget the wine glasses.

Because there will always be that one bottle of red wine. Or two. Or three. Or more.

And a gentleman who's there to pour it out for you. Don't forget to say děkuji (thank you).

Sit back, relax with your colleagues... Who knows until when you'll be working with them?

And just enjoy the meal. Forget work, be ready to sit and talk for a minimum of two hours.

Once in awhile, have lunch at the home of colleagues: that's goulash in the pot. Yum!

And then some coffee and home-made dessert. Forget whatever diet it is you're on.

Always the best way to end the day: with a glass of wine. (See the big smiles) Na zdraví!

Quotable Quotes

2007-06-27T15:01:00.000+08:00

Jane: There are few things sadder in this life than watching someone walk away after they've left you, watching the distance between your bodies expand until there's nothing... but empty space and silence.

Liz: So I call him up to say good night and guess who answers the phone 1AM PARIS TIME? Penelope Pope!

Jane: Who's Penelope Pope?

Liz: I don't know, but that's what she said when I asked "Who the FUCK is this?"

Eddie: It's over. Why can't you just let it go?

Jane: I can't.

Eddie: Why?

Jane: Because I was happy. Because if this theory is wrong, men don't leave all women, Eddie, they leave me.

Eddie: I know it hurts. I know. It's so hard to believe that something that wonderful can ever happen to us again.

****

If you never want to see a man again, say, 'I love you, I want to marry you. I want to have children...' - they leave skid marks. -- Rita Rudner

Silly Answers to Silly Questions

2007-06-25T09:31:00.000+08:00

Why is it so hard to trust?

Because people lie. Billy Joel was so right: Honesty is such a lonely word.

Why do some people choose to believe the lies?

Because it hurts less than having to accept that the world isn't as good as they thought it to be.

How does one forgive and forget?

It's easy to forgive. But it's virtually impossible to forget. Temporarily perhaps, and through sheer will power, or self-delusion. One can try. And keep on trying.

Why does the heart continue to love in spite of all the pain it has gone through?

Because sometimes love is worth it. Because we always hope for better things. Because it's the crazy yet wise thing to do, if we want to find that elusive happiness we all want.

Are you stressed?

If the image is moving, the answer is yes. The faster the movement, the more stress you have.

He’s Just Not That Into You

2007-06-21T13:50:00.000+08:00

He’s just not that into you : the no-excuses truth to understanding guys
By Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo

1 He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s Not Asking You Out
2 He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s Not Calling You
3 He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s Not Dating You
4 He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s Not Having Sex with You
5 He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s Having Sex with Someone Else
6 He’s Just Not That Into You If He Only Wants to See You When He’s Drunk
7 He’s Just Not That Into You If He Doesn’t Want to Marry You
8 He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s Breaking Up with You
9 He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s Disappeared on You
10 He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s Married (and Other Insane Variations of Being Unavailable)
11 He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s a Selfish Jerk, a Bully, or a Really Big Freak

New read

2007-06-20T11:40:00.000+08:00

I started a new book today: Ang Paboritong Libro ni Hudas by Bob Ong.

It's actually been with me for more than 3 years now, given to me by a colleague at PCCI. I tried reading it before, but I guess I stopped somewhere right around the beginning. I hope I'm not disappointing him by admitting this, haha.

But seriously, it's such a difficult book to read -- mainly because it's in Filipino. I get so confused reading and translating in my head. Thing is, I couldn't sleep last night. And since I couldn't find another book I hadn't read yet, and as I was desperate for something to read, I picked up this book and forced myself to read.

I'm still having a hard time, but I will persevere. I don't think I've read a book written in Filipino since El Filibusterismo (which I didn't exactly finish). I think it's time I expanded my reading list to include local literature. Besides, this book is on the list of favorite books of a good friend of mine. I should see what it's all about. :)

****

"Most of who we are is what people expect of us." -- from Heroes

Random thoughts, Random acts

2007-06-19T09:58:00.000+08:00

It's the birthday of one of my sisters today -- sibling number 5. :) Happy birthday Maisie!

It's also the birthday of Jose Rizal. I wonder how many people care. But for sure my boss the Ambassador does. He's a fan of Rizal and his works, particularly his writings. It's funny how he, a foreigner, seems to care more about Rizal than I do. Yikes.

****

I used to think that the chances of my having a long-term (meaning more than 5 months at least) relationship with anyone were about one in a million, and yet here I am. I can't believe I've been going out with Jay for a year now. How fast time flies.

****

The other night, I was wondering why traffic was moving so slowly along Kalayaan. A little later, I saw the reason: a mentally retarded girl was sitting in the middle of street and cars had to merge in one lane to avoid her. What struck me was that no one was helping her -- someone could have easily led her away from the street to the curb. But heck, who am I to say that? I didn't help her either. I was more preoccupied with getting to my destination.

But there are some good people out there.

A few weeks back, I was waiting for my sister to pick me up at Shell at the corner of EDSA and Buendia. Another crazy girl was roaming around the station. I saw the guard approach her and take her by the arm. I thought he was going to ask her to leave the area. But lo and behold, he took her to the Select shop and gave her a seat outside. Minutes later, an attendant came out of the shop with a cupcake and a glass of water for the girl. The guy even opened the cupcake for her when she couldn't figure out how to do it herself. Aww.

It's always nice to see random acts of kindness. It makes you believe that, quoting from the Desiderata, with all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. And it makes you want to be a better person. :)

Jazz overdose

2007-06-18T09:27:00.000+08:00

I guess you can only listen to so much jazz.

My friends and I got to Sofitel for the Jazz Festival around 7.30pm. By midnight we were in a rush to leave. Not that the performances were bad. I loved the UST Jazz Band, Sino Sikat?, Brass Munkeys, and Thomas Enhco and the Jazz Angels.

More on the French jazz act (from the rfi musique website):

With his round baby face and his unruly curls, 18-year-old Thomas Enhco has the face of an angel – and the fingers of an angel, too! The young musician, who trained at the “Centre International des Musiques Improvisées” set up by the renowned French violinist Didier Lockwood, handles his chosen instruments with disarming dexterity and ease.

Thomas Cohen – his stage name Enhco is backwards slang for Cohen – is a multi-talented prodigy, equally at home playing violin, piano or Fender Rhodes guitar. In his short career to date, young Thomas has worked with the ‘crème de la crème’ of the international jazz world including guitarists Mike Stern and Martin Taylor and drummer Bill Cobham. Didier Lockwood invited young Monsieur Enhco to perform at the Juan-les-Pins jazz festival when he was just 9 years old, and since then he has appeared at many of the world’s other leading jazz festivals (Marciac, Vienne etc.).

Love!!!

My friends and I were up on our feet during the performances of the groups I mentioned above. Sadly, we were the only ones grooving to the music. I don't know what was up with the crowd but they sure weren't a dancing bunch. Even with all that free wine. Strange.

But. Inasmuch as we had a great time listening to those acts (listening is the word as the stage was too low for us at the back to see much of the performers), by the time Verni Varga got to performing, we were tired. I had a headache! Now, whether I got the headache because of Verni Varga or because I had listened to too much jazz by the time she came on is debatable. :P

Anyway, we left by midnight. I am sure there were more interesting performances but we really couldn't stay longer. I guess we should have been there much later, as the better acts started around 9pm. Oh well.

Guess it's true, what they say. That too much of even a good thing can be a bad thing. :)

But I will still be at the next Manila Jazz Festival. Although I promise to arrive late.

Finally got the dive photos

2007-06-15T10:51:00.000+08:00

Jay finally sent me photos from my check out dive. (teşekkür!) Here are some of them:

Get set, ready, go! At the Dive & Trek Resort.

Final lesson: Still taking classes with Doris and Hanna.

Hello! Yes, that unrecognizable person is me.

Fishy fishy.

Post dive: Tired and sleepy but happy :)

Horoscope for the Day

2007-06-14T10:32:00.000+08:00

Taurus

You are questioning your path in life. It's time to remember that your path isn't a straight line, but more like a zigzag brushstroke loaded with color and texture. It doesn't have to make sense. In fact. the best art often doesn't.

Hmm. True.

These are the days of my life

2007-06-13T10:09:00.001+08:00

I haven't written for almost a month now. Blame it on a month long illness (my doctor called it respiratory tract infection, I called it a bad cough), an increasingly demanding boss, and a bit of laziness on my part. :P

I think I should also add a non-interesting life to my list of excuses. Nothing's been happening in my life lately. I haven't gone diving since I got my license. But then again, I got sick. And so did Jay. Which means, Bohol didn’t materialize. :( But then again, there's no reason why we shouldn't go one of these days. Let's see.

****

Last Saturday, I attended the baptism of my sister’s baby. They named him Jose Ma. Alfonso. Cute little baby, pleasant and quiet – he didn’t cry a single time during both the baptism and reception. Good boy!

Thanks to the reception, I got to see all those relatives I rarely see. These are the times we get together: baptisms, weddings, burials. All the significant moments of our lives. Goes to show how (not) close-knit we are.

****

I was reading this email I sent a friend two years ago. My life was just so different then. Here’s a part of the drama I sent her:

Everyday, I get up and hope for something exciting or wonderful to happen. And every night before I go to bed I get sad because nothing happened. I wish I could just be happy with my life. After all, there are so many people out there who have more miserable lives. But I can’t. There’s something missing. But I don’t know what it is.

I don’t know if, well actually, I don’t think I have found that missing thing, but I am definitely, definitely happier today. My mornings are more joyous. I like my job. I’m happier with my relationships with my family and friends. And I have Jay. As I said in my last post, life is good.

Still, there are moments when I feel lost and unsure. I’m 25 and I still haven’t achieved much, or anything actually. And I don’t know where I’m going.

I think what’s different now is that I worry less. Sometimes it’s just good to go on faith. No one knows what tomorrow holds, but we can trust that it will be beautiful. If not beautiful, well, at the very least, helpful or constructive. Haha.

****

Enough mooning about. I hope to write about something more interesting soon. I need some excitement in my life!

****

Manila Jazz Festival on Friday, June 15 at the Grand Sunset Pavilion, Sofitel Philippine Plaza, 6pm onwards. My friends and I will be there. It should be fun – something different to do on a Friday night.

Birthday girl

2007-05-16T16:29:00.000+08:00

It’s my birthday today. I’m 25. No, 23. Haha, who am I kidding? :(

My birthday wishes? Good Health. Prosperity. True Love. Peace of Mind. World Peace.

OK. Going to stop right there. Pretty obvious I got no good ideas in my head at the moment. Mmm. I think it’s the wine. (My colleagues at the embassy are so sweet. We had a small celebration over lunch, and a bottle of wine was opened in my honor.)

Hmm. I wonder what’s in store for me this year. I love my family, my friends are great, I'm happy with my love life which is pretty normal (meaning, with its fair share of ups and downs), work is fine -- things are looking pretty good, thank God. So I’m pretty excited about what else life has to offer. 24 was a crazy year. I think I’m ready to take on anything this year… La la la :)

…The best is yet to come… I think. I hope.

Check out dive

2007-05-15T12:16:00.000+08:00

I am now officially certified as an open water diver! Who would have thought? Haha. Even Roby, my instructor, told me that after I went on an intro dive with him some time last year with 3 other friends, I struck him as the least inclined to pursue diving. Well guess what, I'm the only who did!

Although, I think Roby was right the first time. Truth is, I'm doing this primarily because of my boyfriend. That I actually enjoy it now that I've started is a great and welcome upshot. Still, I'm so proud of myself, haha.

I have to wait for Jay to send me some photos though. I don't think he was able to get good underwater pics this time. Certainly no good shots of me. It's not like any of all that dive gear flatters anyone. Eek. Haha.

We went on five dives all in all. But I got to enjoy only the last 2 dives, as the first three were pretty much still like classes. I was too busy concentrating on the instructor and my gear and what not to be able to enjoy whatever marine life there was to see.

Those nemo-like (because they're also striped but black and red instead of orange and white) fish are so funny. So territorial and brave -- foolishly so, but brave nonetheless. They come snapping at anything that comes their way, ready to take 'em on regardless the size differential. They're cute. But they bite!

I can't remember the names of the other things we saw. Jay saw a turtle on his night dive. We beginners were not so lucky. :( I hope I get to see more interesting creatures soon!

We might go to Bohol for our next dive. That should be fun. But even just in Anilao, there's so much to see. Oh I can't wait to dive again!

****

Elections are over. Needless to say, I didn't vote -- I was underwater while the good citizens of this country went to the polls to do their civic duty. My bad. But seriously, I wouldn't know who to vote for anyway. Such a circus, these elections.

No, I'm not gonna get started on politics. I'm just starting to wonder if I should have voted, haha. But you see, I voted three years ago for PGMA, and well, let's just say, I'm no longer a fan. The thing is, I don't think I would ever be able to bring myself to vote for FPJ. So there's my problem. I don't know. No good choice three years ago. I chose what I thought was the lesser evil. Sadly, the lesser evil is still evil. The options available these elections weren't any better. So maybe it wasn't so bad that I didn't vote. It sure was more fun to go diving! Haha.

Waiting

2007-05-11T14:16:00.000+08:00

For someone who hates (hates hates hates!) waiting, I keep finding myself in situations where I have to wait for something or someone. To make it worse, more often than not, I put myself in those situations. Makes the waiting more damn irritating.

The funny thing is, I have mastered the art of waiting. That's not to say that I am able to keep feelings of irritation and frustration at bay. It only means I'm able to look calm and composed despite them.

It was my friend Andrea who first called me a "lady in waiting". An offhand observation, she didn't realize how much truth there was in what she said. She only said that because of the many instances she's seen me waiting for my sister and this one particular friend who's always late.

If only all the waiting we do were as simple as waiting for a friend, or the inevitably late plane (PAL or Cebu Pacific, they're just the same). Or maybe even waiting for morning to come on a really bad night. These we can easily deal with by ranting and raving, or passing time quietly with a good book, your choice. In time you learn to choose to wait patiently. Well, I have.

But what about waiting for your prayers to be answered? Waiting for the ONE? Waiting for that job offer from a most desired employer? Waiting for good news from the doctor about your brother's illness? Waiting for something wonderful to finally happen? How does one wait patiently?

Trust me on the sunscreen

2007-05-10T09:30:00.000+08:00

Everyone's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)
by Baz Luhrmann

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '99.....
Wear Sunscreen

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.
The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists
whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience...

I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth;
Oh never mind;
you will not understand the power of beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at the photos of yourself
and recall in a way you can't grasp now
how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked...

You're not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future;
or worry,
but know that worrying is as effective as

trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind;
the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you.

Sing

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts,
don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss

Don't waste your time on jealousy;
sometimes you're ahead,
sometimes you're behind...
the race is long, and in the end,
it's only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive,
forget the insults;
if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters.
Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life...
the most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives,
some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium

Be kind to your knees,
you'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't,
maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't,
maybe you'll divorce at 40,
maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary...

Whatever you do,
don't congratulate yourself too much
or berate yourself either-
your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can...
don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it,
it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance... even if you have nowhere to do it
but in your own living room.

Read the directions,
even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines,
they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents,
you never know when they'll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings;
they are the best link to your past
and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go,
but for the precious few you should hold on.

Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle
because the older you get,
the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once,
but leave before it makes you hard.

Live in Northern California once,
but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel

Accept certain inalienable truths,
prices will rise, politicians will philander,
you too will get old,

and when you do
you'll fantasize that when you were young

prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you.

Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse;
but you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair,
or by the time it's 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but,
be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia.
Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal,
wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen...

Fresh start

2007-05-09T11:17:00.000+08:00

I started a blog several months back. And I never got around to adding to the first post. Better to start afresh I guess. And that's what I'm doing. Hopefully I'll be able to keep this up.

Upon typing in "Fresh start", the thought of changing it to "New Beginnings" came into my head. It didn't make sense as there's really nothing happening in my life that would make me write about new beginnings. I now know that this phrase just comes from an old memory -- New Beginnings is a part of CRIBS, a house for abandoned kids and abused girls (this is the NB part) where I used to volunteer while at university. Although I actually spent more time with the babies. I wonder how they're doing now.

Joey. That was the name of the kid I loved the most. So cute! I wonder how he is. Hmm. Wherever he is now, I hope he is doing well and is getting all the love and care he deserves.

****

Oh I did start something new recently. I started diving lessons last week. And this weekend I'll be having my first checkout dive. I went on an intro dive last year, but I guess that doesn't count as a real dive. So I'm really looking forward to this weekend. I'm a bit scared, but still excited.

I'm also glad because I will finally be able to dive with my boyfriend. Boy, those hours of just sitting, reading or snorkelling by myself while waiting for the divers to come back were just too long. Also, after having seen his photos, I just want to be down there myself. There's so much to see and discover! I really can't wait! Anilao, here I come!

****

My sister gave birth last week. After a small scare over jaundice, the baby is now home with his proud, loving (and relieved) parents. He's so tiny, always hungry, and cries so loudly (mainly because he's hungry again). And he's so cute! And he smells so nice. The scent of newborn babies is simply one of the best in the world. Try smelling one, haha. Oh I just love babies.

I think I will be spending more time in Antipolo...

****

I'm turning 25 next week. Ugh, quarter of a century old! Talk about quarter life crisis! I still don't know where my life is going. Oh dear. New year. Fresh start, fresh start. Gotta work on those resolutions I came up with during the New Year. Wait, did I have any? Haha. I better make some now. Not getting any younger! I really should stop waiting for things to happen. I gotta make them happen!

But I think I shall remain forever 23. Not that that was an exceptionally good year for me -- I don't remember anything particularly interesting about it, but 23 just feels like a good number (Michael Jordan would agree). And it seems a good age to stay in forever. No, I'm not crazy. I just don't want to grow old. And people everywhere lie about their age anyway. Why should I be an exception? Hehe.

Oh well, 'til my next post.

In the meantime I will remain 23, continue to work hard at not going crazy, go to my final pool session with Roby the dive master, Doris my buddy, and Anna my other classmate, and try not to forget to pack sunscreen for the trip!