Sunsets and happiness

I haven't been seeing any sunsets lately.

The last time I wrote about sunsets in my journal, I was quite happy. I had just come to realize that I need not go far to find happiness. That yes, sunsets in Manila are lovelier than those in Bangkok. That I just need to sit still, and see and feel the beauty of the moment -- whether I'm getting crushed by a bunch of people on the train, or enjoying a cup of coffee in one of those glass buildings along Ayala Avenue.

I told myself then that I only need to appreciate the small things around me, appreciate things that I call my own -- appreciate my life! Know that despite the troubles I have, I have so much to be grateful for. Know that I don't need to run off to another place to find happiness, when home is the only place I'll find it.

How easily I have forgotten.

I haven't been seeing any sunsets lately. I blame it on the rain. But deep down I know it's more than that.

How much easier it is to turn jaded from being happy, than to decide to be happy after turning jaded for even just awhile.

I want my sunsets back. But that's pretty much up to me. The good thing is, it's all in the mind, right? Which means I can be happy again.

I will be happy again.