Memory and madness

Memory is a funny thing.

I remember the most inane things from the most insignificant events in my life. And I'm not even particularly aware that my memory has filed them away in some folder to be remembered only when triggered by some impulse.

Take this for example. I was walking to Greenbelt with Andrea yesterday and I remembered this guy she went out with. I've never forgotten one tiny detail about their first (and last) date she shared with me. Apparently it bothered him that she chose to use that incline for handicapped /wheelchair-ridden people (I'm not sure what you call it) instead of the stairs. Of all the things she told me about him, that one detail stuck. And I remember it almost everytime I walk up that incline instead of the stairs. I had to remind Andrea about it -- she'd almost forgotten.

It's also funny how we have different ways of trying to recall things.

One day I was about to call Jay. But for the life of me, I couldn't remember his number at home. I tried several numbers to no avail. I eventually got it after imagining myself to be at his place, with him on the phone, calling Pizza Hut and telling them his landline number. I felt quite loony for awhile after that episode.

And isn't it funny how affected we get by certain memories?

I remember being on a train once, and there was this very mild scent in the air. I knew it was a scent from my childhood, and I knew it was from a certain happy part of my childhood. But I couldn't quite put a finger on what it was particularly. I tried and tried to remember, but the scent was so mild. And naughty. It tantalized me so that I would come thisclose to remembering what that memory was, and then it would fade, and I would be at a loss once more. This went on and on until I had to get off the train, and I almost cried. I felt like I lost something. The weird thing was, I didn't know what that scent was, and I didn't know what memory it triggered. But both unknowns affected me, hit me with nostalgia, I was sad for quite awhile. (Guess I would officially qualify now as a loony with this story.)

But while that un-remembered memory made me quite disconsolate, there are a good many memories that do make me feel good and warm and fuzzy inside. Best triggers for happy memories? Bright shiny twinkling Christmas lights! And the memories that come to me aren't even all about Christmas. The malls have begun decorating with and selling all these Christmas stuff, and everytime I walk through these malls I just smile and feel good. I don't even have to remember any of those happy events in my life, I just feel happy, period.

Ah, memory. Mine sure is crazy. But I prefer to call it funny.